Hi J,
Thanks for the response.
I thought I should shine a little light into that letter I sent you yesterday.
It was meant for a particular Doctor who I've known for 25 years. I consider him a friend although he’s been our family Doctor for all of that time.
That letter was an attempt at humour on my part, during an incredibly non humorous period of time. We all suffer in silence but, I wanted him to share some of the shit in which we’re presently swimming.
He's earned that privilege. Believe me.
After I finished writing it, I was happy with some of the stupid-ness that I mustered because, it reflects real life for me at the moment. But no, I'm not interested in publishing it as you suggested.
Thanks for the encouragement though.
Maybe, I should not of sent it? but I did see the ‘funny side’ at the time.
So, the story goes....
I'm ‘cold turkeying’ from taking morphine for the past 22 years. I suffered a spinal injury all the way back when. The injury just got worse and worse as time passed.
The more attention and treatment that was applied to it, the worse it got.
Eventually, you get to see Specialists. More and more Specialists.
All of whom have differing opinions, motivations and, all of whom are pressed for time so, they never have time to listen. Some were wonderful people who were there to help but, there were also those who's motives you were never quite sure about.
It's a really bad place to be in.
I think we've all been conditioned somewhat to trust and honour Doctors but, I've learned the hard way, that many of them don't know much at all.
That’s why they call it ‘a practise’.
Back then, it didn't seem to matter which decision we made. It just seemed to get more and more complicated and painful.
It's a long story of medical befuddlement. Genuine suffering with no answers. I lived on the lounge room floor for over 2.5 years while, my kids stepped over me, as they went about their lives. I could not find comfort in any chair or bed and the only thing I could do, was to get ‘to and fro’ the toilet.
The pain was constant, totally debilitating as well as being incredibly soul destroying.
Eventually, the morphine was prescribed and it proved to be an incredible relief.
Initially, it was administered in rather large amounts but it genuinely worked.
Then 5 or 7 years later, I took the plunge and worked hard to get the dosages down by about 80% over a 2 week period. It was really tough but that wasn’t a bad effort.
The Epiphany
Then, complicating matters in 2018, I was involved in another car accident where, I snapped my L3 vertebrae (badly), and spent the following week in the Spinal Ward until, I demanded my release.
I had to get outta there.
I was placed into a 'metal cage type of setup' for 4 months.
That was tough too!! but then, on the bright side, a little after I started the recovery, I had a kind of 'epiphany of sorts' where, I became determined to rid myself from the ever growing pharmaceutical crap I was consuming.
As a part of the 'wonder of that moment' was an understanding and an acceptance on my part, that I was gonna have to pay a price if I wanted to get back to full fitness. This epiphany was more than just some random thought.
It actually possessed or, was an energy!
Somehow, it produced 'a hopefulness. It afforded me a confidence that I was unable to muster myself. I badly needed it at the time and what was interesting for me, was the knowledge that I had to make a decision. I had to either accept it or, reject it.
It’s difficult to describe but basically, I accepted.
I know few people who write about this subject but hey, this is my real life story. And, I'm only scratching the surface. Believe me.
It took about 6 months of diligence and hard work but, I did get off ALL of the pharmaceutical medication except for the morphine, although I was able to halve the dosage. The Doctors were very impressed with my achievement. but my ‘pay off’ was a clearer mind and stronger body.
I dropped 12 kilo's of excess medical fluid. I also rediscovered my ability to walk.
So, beating Morphine now is my last frontier.
As I write this I can assure you that I am resolute. I will confidently emerge from this bad dream, completely free from its hold.
The most difficult thing for me at the moment is, I'm convinced I've come down with this covid flu! So, it's a double whammy because, I’m experiencing ‘withdrawals’ as well as bad flu symptoms.
Presently, my wife and I are unable to get any local Medical Care unless we are x2 vaccinated and this, is what has driven the cold turkey experience. I will never bow to inane government mandates, medical stupidity or, political tyranny.
The Old Man
In 2018, in a special moment of my life, I met this 87 yr old guy in a physiotherapy pool. He had suffered from Polio his entire life.
We were both doing our rehab while talking to each other. Our conversation got deeper and deeper and more personal as the time went on. At one stage, when we were discussing suffering, he stared right into my soul and exploded with a simple sentence that has changed my life’s understanding.
"You don't live life, you battle it!"
He delivered that line succinctly. It sliced through me like a sword.
An old man who had lived an eventful, tragic yet, wonderful life. He deposited that knowledge right into my spirit. I cannot over estimate the power of those words at the time.
I do find it ‘amazing’ when these wonderfully strange occurrences happen in your life. Happenstance is a word that comes to mind.
It’s like there’s a ‘someone’ out there who knows you intimately, and knows exactly what you need at that precise time in your life and, that ‘someone’ serves to sustain you.
The last 20 odd years have been a genuine battle for myself, including my entire family but, I'm not the first guy to walk this road. I have to remind myself of that fact sometimes. I can still walk, I can still love and, I still have the ‘love of my life’ by my side which, is a genuine miracle to have married a woman of that calibre.
She has also carried much of the burden these last 25 years. Only being able to look on. I could not have been able to endure, that which, she has had to endure.
It's been a real trip!
Societal Madness..
I loved what you shared concerning the madness of society at the moment because, I see it too. It succinctly describes our present world.
The people who're buying into this entire Psyop are just unable to see. They're blind to the whole thing.
And, their deficiency has nothing to do with the lack of intelligence.
It has to do with some other quality or, the lack thereof?
I've seen it over and over. I find it fascinating.
Life's become like an episode outta Seinfeld. I meet so many people who have become members of a cult yet, they’re totally ignorant of that fact.
My Brother
I have a 79 yr old brother. He’s still as ‘sharp’ mentally as he’s ever been.
He's lived an exciting and pioneering life. He was able to set himself up with a great financial wicket for his elder years and now, he just wants to party.
Time is his immediate currency. And, he knows he's running out of it.
He clearly saw the manipulation of the mandates from the outset but he didn't want to be locked out of his country club.
He said to me, "This is the wrong time of my life to be fighting a bloody war!"
So, he relented and received the needle. The 2nd dose really screwed him up and his health.
He's yet to fully recover.
___
UPDATE: Yesterday, March 6th my brother died from a ‘deep brain bleed’. He was fit, very active and did not suffer from high blood pressure. I believe his death was directly caused by this insidious vaccine that serves no traditional role of a vaccine but targets certain individuals unto death.
___
My brother was made to pay regardless of the decision he made. This is the definition of evil imo and, it needs to be called for what it is.
They’re calling for compliance but what this is really about is comfort. The ‘powers that are’ are forcing the individual to choose comfort or, endure suffering.
And, no one wants to suffer!
I'm convinced that 'Human Nature' has ‘somehow’ been digitised as well as the psychology needed to control it and, it’s all been uploaded into some silicon brain somewhere. The ‘beast' accompanied by all of its cronies are now spreading their wings and proceeding to kick us in the guts.
You can't even tune out and ignore this thing in the hope that it'll all go away because, it's designed to ensure none of us escape its clutches.
I see it as imperative to call this 'thing' for what it is.
It is evil.
It has to be identified and described in that way AND, it can only be defeated by resisting, confronting and exposing that evil in all its guises.
History has proven to us many times how evil is defeated.
Through the declaration of truth and self sacrifice for the greater good. Sadly, much self sacrifice.
Some will struggle to embrace the description I’ve suggested because of their worldview. I'm amazed at the number of people I meet who, cannot even admit that evil exists because, it screws with their concept of the world.
The very world they created in their own image no doubt?
And then, there's the plethora of folk who can't accept that a loving and sovereign God exists. Quite possibly because of all the religious bullshit we’ve been imbued with over the years.
The TV preachers, the worldwide ‘Pedophile Priests’, the continual cover ups by the Vatican which they refuse to learn from or, make right. The last 50 years of consumerism hasn’t unearthed much glory to God either.
We’ve all been washed with the religious bile over the years but in reality, true salvation has always been about the individual and whether, that individual embraces or rejects that salvation.
Religion is what it is and, many find it comforting. But I believe in an individual and personal faith. That being each individual has their own walk and talk with God.
It’s where personal sovereignty draws from.
I’ve never understood really, or felt like ‘I belonged’ in some religious ‘group’ mainly because, I struggle with having to reject independent thought. That requisite is never publicly demanded but there always seems to be an accepted nuance of general agreement on certain things that are separate to core beliefs.
Assumed acceptance of certain facts that are not necessarily facts!?
For starters, my heart is with the Palestinians and, that dog just don’t hunt in the modern church. The manipulation and rejection of truth?
Also my faith is private. I really struggle with the cheap, thinly veiled showy crap that gets served up as ‘supposed’ content. There’s lots and lots of genuine and great folk in the movement but I struggle to buy in to the ‘system’.
I've always believed, and experienced, a communion with God since I was a child.
But hey, to each their own.
I don't mean to come across preachy. Just explaining myself.
Back to the Psyop.
I have a good friend of forty years who’s a top performing Engineer. He’s travelled the world, working for some of the biggest and most powerful corporation’s in the world. His task, and business, is to ‘speak into’ the “Corporate soul” (for want of a better word. I mean… what’s the opposite of soul?)
He'd be one of the smartest guys I know but we find ourselves in complete and opposite camps concerning our views, re this pandemic.
My friend is very bright but only in some ways.
I know enough about intellect to understand that while some individuals may possess an abundance in certain disciplines, they can also simultaneously and surprisingly, be obviously deficient in others.
And, you get to experience all of that 'wonder' at the same time!
My friend quotes all the figures of the dead and dying with all of the statistics. They roll off his tongue, trigger like! Without even a glint of a thought for the need to hold back a little.
No! because, he's right! The world makes perfect sense to him now.
He's totally blinded. He’s also unreachable on this topic and, I just look on in wonder!
Somehow, I think they've discovered his ‘frequency’ and they've finally worked out how to get into his head. (and, I'm not even sure I'm joking now?)
My friend and millions of his ilk are somehow bewitched.
It’s a fascinating thing looking on.
The Nature of Evil
What we’re being exposed to is evil and in time, people will identify it as just that. It’s a presence and it isn’t going away. It won’t be defeated legally or medically. Evil can only be defeated with the help of God and he who has already defeated it, Jesus Christ.
J, I think suffering over a long period of time has a way of tuning you adroitly in certain ways. Internally and externally. I think ‘suffering’ serves to bludgeon you slowly over a long period of time. Being hammered, just like a metal worker shapes metal with heat, constant beating with dolly’s and shaped hammers.
Shapes and views change over time sure but, I do think suffering causes you to view the world in a certain way and from a certain aspect. I may not know much about anything but, I do know a little about suffering.
And also, about the nature of evil.
M.Scott Peck wrote an intriguing book after his best seller, “The Road Less Traveled”. The book I’m referring to was entitled, “The People of the Lie” where he deeply dived into the quest of identifying and defining evil.
It’s an interesting read if you can find it.
Anyway, that's probably enough from me now. Writing this has made me concentrate on something other than how I presently feel and, writing all of this has definitely allowed me some relief.
Thank you for that!
All the best,
Nicolai
PS
Have you heard of a documentary that was made in 2015 called, "The Minds of Men"?
It follows the experimentation of controlling the minds of men from about 1946-1976 when they were eventually shut down because of their evil operations. But even by then, they were claiming that they could control entire suburbs of LA using microwave technology. It's an incredibly deep dive into all things Dr Evil however, it does provide a framework for what we're seeing take place today, worldwide.
I highly encourage you to watch it if you can.
‘N’